AgCenter Approves Medicinal Marijuana Contract Just In Time To Save Tailgate Season

Jacqueline Davis LSU • October 3, 2017

The Black Sheep @LSU

With LSU’s new tailgating regulations underway, the LSU AgCenter, just in time, reveals official contract for the distribution of medicinal marijuana, a special grade of weed used to treat people with serious health conditions.

Although not officially correlated to one another, the LSU AgCenter is confident their new weed distribution will help with the whole “tailgating problem.”

Susie Spacen, advising director of the AgCenter’s medicinal marijuana initiative, claims their category of marijuana has sedative effects, ones that she claims, may just “tame the party animal within.”

“Students are upset over the new tailgating restrictions,” says Spacen, “I mean, they just want to be dancing sweaty and topless on a raised surface, two beers taped to their hands, all before noon with no one to stop them. So I really think by getting access to this stuff, these crazy kids won’t feel these ‘animalistic urges’ and instead, will just chill out and eat more.”

As of last week, LSU unveiled new restrictions on tailgating, ones that include no kegs or drinking games, which in turn have angered a lot of students, claiming that the school is “cock-blocking” their tiger spirit, something that tailgating parties have always brought out in them.

Agricultural major and senior at LSU, Thomas Flossmore, says he’s excited to start conducting experiments with the medical grade marijuana, something he feels passionately about, “My days of funneling and cast-fighting are far behind me, bra. This is the real shit. I just spent one hour with this stuff, not smoking it, of course… just doing research and stuff… and now I’m on that clarity level, you know what I’m saying?”

Spacen encourages all students with legitimate health conditions to “put the bottle down and just light TF up.”